John

the

Baptist

Book 1

Max Seltmann

Recommended chronological reading list:

(with regard to Jesus’ life in flesh and Spirit, up to the time of the book of Revelation.  All books are written by Max Seltmann, unless otherwise indicated. The book marked with bold, is the book currently opened.)

1. Childhood years of Jesus (Jakob Lorber)

2. Book 1 – John the Baptist

3. Book 2 – John the Apostle in his youth with Jesus (Love overcomes Part 1)

4. Book 3 – Jesus’ Life

5. Book 4 – Jesus’ Life

6. Book 5 – Jesus’ Life

7. Book 6 – Jesus’ Life

8. Book 7 – Jesus’ Life

9. Book 8 – Jesus’ Life

10. Book 9 – Jesus prepares for His ministry Part 1

11. Book 10 – Jesus prepares for His ministry Part 2

12. Great Gospel of John, Volumes 1 – 10 (Jakob Lorber)

13. Great Gospel of John, Volume 11 (Leopoldt Engel)

14. Book 11 - Good Friday

15. Book 12 - Judas Iscariot in the beyond

16. Book 13 - On the road to Emmaus

17. Book 14 - The Risen One!

18. Book 15 - The New Life in man

19. Book 16 – At Bethany – story of Theophilus

20. Book 17 - Ascension

21. Book 18 - Pentecost!

22. Book 19 - Among the first Christians

23. Book 20 - Divine guidance of the first Christians

24. Book 21 - The chamberlain from the Orient

25. Book 22 - The God-spark and Saul's conversion

26. Book 23 - Awakening the Divine life

27. Book 24 - Experiences with Jacob, Part 1

28. Book 25 - Experiences with Jacob, Part 2

29. Book 26 - Experiences with Jacob, Part 3

30. Book 27 - Experiences with Jacob, Part 4

31. Book 28 - Naeme

32. Book 29 - John the Apostle as a guide (Love overcomes Part 2)

33. Book 30 - John the Apostle as a guide (Love overcomes Part 3)

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Table of Contents

1.  John the Baptist 4

2.  Back home 28

John the Baptist

At the foot of the foothills was the land of Elizabeth, which she had been cultivating with her son John for about twenty years.  Tired and full of longing, Elizabeth was waiting for her son that day, who had been out of the house since early morning to fetch fodder and straw for the goats on the heights.  The sun was already setting, and with growing anxiety, she looked in the direction from which John usually came.

“Where is he today" - Elisabeth pressed her left hand on her excitedly beating heart - "surely no misfortune has befallen him!  Oh Lord and God, You will prevent this!"

At last John had come home.  The bundle he carried on his back was heavy.  Tenderly he greeted his mother hurrying to meet him, he felt behind her joy the great restlessness that had tormented her for hours.  "Mother, have you been worried about me again?  You know that the Eternal and All-Sustaining One holds His protective hand over us.  If it were not so, Mother, today would have been my last day, since I had heavy work with a wild ox.

The neighbor beyond the mountain, Sergius, had harnessed his ox to his cart and also wanted to make fodder on his ground.  Calmly the animal grazed, but suddenly it became terribly wild, rolling on the ground and roaring with pain and rage.

I became alert and came there at the same time as Sergius, and we saw a swarm of bees covering this wild animal all over.  We tried to help, but we couldn't.

When Sergius tried to brush off the bees with some tufts of grass, he was attacked by the bees, and so he sought his salvation in flight.

What can I do, I thought, I cannot abandon this animal to misery?

I tore my apron from my body and waved the bees away with all my strength and speed, which I finally succeeded in doing.  However, the ox resented my help and attacked me.  For a short time I was able to resist him, but at a favorable moment I jumped to the side and fled.

Sergius saw from afar how I, too, was getting to safety, and so we did not dare to work.  It took hours for the tired and badly battered animal to regain it's composure, and so it came about that I left you alone for so long."

"John, my son, always remember that you still have a mother.  You are too wild and think you can conquer everything."  The son's tale had startled the aged Elizabeth.  "How often I pray for protection for you and ask God to watch over you."

Said John with cheerful earnestness: "Mother, mother, to whom God gives an office, He will also preserve him, and this great office has become mine: to care for you and to beautify your olden days.  How could it be otherwise, have you not given me father and mother in one?  Your goodness, your love, are they not unique?  This your son does not forget; therefore, mother, do not worry too much, so that my trust in God does not weaken, but grows stronger."

Soon the usual meager supper of milk and bread was on the table, when the neighbor Sergius appeared with two priests.  Reverently, the three greeted Elizabeth, then John.  Sergius now began to tell about the events on the mountain, but John answered: "Sergius, I have already told my mother everything, there is no need to describe again the danger in which we stood."

Elizabeth wanted to reply.  One of the priests beat her to it: "Mother Zacharias, again I come to you with the old request: give us your son, so that we can educate him completely for the temple.  You owe it to your blessed husband to have his only son educated as a priest.  Then it is also the will of the temple to let the son of such a worthy servant as Zacharias follow in his father's footsteps."

"Joseph" - replied Elizabeth quietly but firmly - "your efforts seem to be in vain even today, since John decided in favor of the mother a few minutes ago."

The priest, tenaciously holding on to his thought: "That is right and fair, but we also want to provide for you as well as we can, therefore this pretext cannot be maintained.  We are constantly watching John and must tell you: it cannot be in the interests of the temple that your son should live so freely and without our influence.  He was consecrated to God and to the temple."

Now John began to speak: "Your concern is vain and utterly groundless, for my mother has been fully sufficient for me until now.  As often as I stayed in the temple and in the synagogue, I heard nothing but what my mother taught me.  You want to separate me completely from the mother, so that you can say you care for the son and widow of Zacharias."

Asur, the other priest, said: "Boy, do not forget that we represent fatherhood to you and you have to stand in reverence and obedience.  For too long you have been living in licentiousness, which must come to an end."

Elizabeth: "What are you going to do?  What do you not like about John?  He is obedient to me, full of childlike love and gratitude!  He is my ray of sunshine in my old days, and in his youthful freshness, the faith of his father shines out to me.  But if he wants to go with you to the temple, I would not want to hold him back."

"Mother" - John replied - "I will never leave you while you live!  And you two servants of God listen: I would rather leave the faith of my fathers than leave my old, aged mother.  She of all people gave me the awareness that at any time and at any hour I live from the goodness and love of the eternal God and Creator.

As long as I can think and judge, I am not aware of any action where I should be ashamed of my mother.  However, when I compare my mother's life and your life, endless doubts arise, because we meet like day and night.

You pretend to be concerned about my education?  This is a lie, I will tell you: I am too open to you and cannot keep silent about your impure actions, therefore I am to be educated under your eyes to become a priest who fully submits to your conditions."

"My boy" - said Joseph - "what you do not seem to get, is that you are scarcely twenty years old, and you wish to speak like one of seventy.  Never will we separate you from your mother, and if you wish to remain here, so be it.  It is our duty to admonish!  But you have to realize that you cannot stay completely without lessons and you have to put up with our worries, whether you like it or not.  Your father would not act differently if he were alive, and you are still far too immature to be able to think and judge properly.  Certainly, you do your duty and spare no dangers, as Brother Sergius reported, but the most beautiful and best thing is to be obedient!"

"Don't remind me" - John replied - "you know how my heart burns with longing to be able to serve God!  But is not the service of my mother a service to God?  I will thank you with my life, if you give me what is necessary for a faithful, godly mind, but do not ask me to be content with scraps.

Look, my mother is an example to me; let her remain an example to me, so that I do not lose respect for you."

Then Joseph reached out his hand to John and said: "My son, remain childlike and faithful to your mother; I realize that we will not reach our goal by the intended way.  But one thing I ask of you: respect the temple and it's servants, for it is God's work, and do not look with evil eyes on those who do not live in the right order according to your understanding.  So I will bless you and commend you to the right guard of God."

The two priests took leave with the usual blessing, but Sergius remained.  The interrupted supper was consumed.  Sergius also took a bite of bread and a sip of milk.  "I have to talk to you" - the latter began after a while - "because today gives me the occasion.

Mother Elizabeth, you know how much thanks I still owe you when you were so helpfully close to my wife in all those difficult hours.

Your son John was supposed to go to the temple to be educated as a priest.  Gladly and full of a thousand joys we will receive you in my house and I can then pay off the great debt a little.

Your husband was a priest, I did not know him, but if he stood in this faith like you, you owe it to God to let his son also become a priest.  You yourself taught me to know God, and I also confess to Him, thanks to your love and your many efforts.  Now I want to thank God by enabling you to give your son to the temple.

You come to us and I will have your little ground taken care of in the best way, so that it will still be preserved for your son.  He can return at any time, if the longing for you and the homeland drives him."

Said John: "You noble friend!  Your love and your offer are like an outpouring of cooling water in great heat, and I thank you from my heart.  But I cannot leave the mother, who knows what Jehovah wills?  And as long as His will has not yet been revealed, I will stay here.  Certainly, I want to be a priest, but a priest after Mother's manner.

Understand me, isn't Mother wiser than the priests?  And has Mother ever owed you a single insight?  Here is more than the temple, here is God."

"John" - said Sergius - "you exaggerate.  In any case, it is not your mother's will that you disparage the temple.  What will you do if your mother follows your father into the pit?  Do not forfeit the temple's favor, make an attempt; if the life does not satisfy you, you can return to your father's house, and I will gladly support you to the best of my ability."

"Your proposal is to be considered" - John replied - "give me time until I am in the clear."

"Then it is well, my John: I will wait until you come of your own accord" - replied Sergius - "for you have always kept your word until now."

Now Sergius talked with Elizabeth for a little while, then the guest took his leave, and without speaking of it again, both went to rest.  John did not sleep, but rose, knelt down and struggled in prayer for clarity.  But his heart remained mute and his thoughts became more and more agitated.  At last fatigue overcame him, and he fell asleep in the kneeling position of prayer.

Early in the morning, Elizabeth rose from her bed and was about to hold her devotions.  There she saw the sleeping son.  Gently she woke him and escorted him to his chamber without saying a word.  She knew that he, like Jacob had once, wrestled with God in prayer.  Now she had cause to talk to God again and to reveal all her longing to God, so that John would become a true and faithful servant of God!

The room became brighter and brighter, and when the first ray of sunlight reached her, she had found the answer within herself: "Your son is chosen to serve the eternal Kingdom of God.  Now she thanked her God and Lord in bright joy and pledged eternal faithfulness.

Before the morning meal, milk and bread was on the table, John came, smilingly greeted his mother and asked for the blessing for the coming day.

It was solemn in the parlour when Elizabeth spoke: "In the name of our eternal God, I give you His blessing, so that He may protect you from great temptation, and you will realize that you can live and create only from His strength.  God with you and you with God! Amen."

This is how the day began.  John knew no rest.  Everywhere his eyes saw where things are wrong.  He would have forgotten about the food if his mother had not reminded him.  And so it went day after day.  Elisabeth knew her son; what he had inside, he had to solve alone, external help was not suitable for him.

It was one day in the middle of the week.  Then Mary of Nazareth came unexpectedly with her two sons Jacob and Jesus.  Old Joseph had taken up a job with his sons in the area.  This opportunity was used to visit Elizabeth and her son.

Years passed before they saw each other once, since it was too difficult for Joseph to check on things regularly.  This time, too, he stayed in the place of his work and sent Mary with the two youngest ones to Elizabeth.

How great was the joy on both sides, on which, however, a shadow was soon to fall.   Jesus had become strangely silent and gave only short answers to questions.  Once He even left the room.  And Jacob beckoned John to him and asked: "Come, let us not leave Jesus alone; He has been giving us all much trouble lately."

So they both went after Jesus.  Elizabeth was affected, her subtle nature felt that something is wrong here.  So she asked Mary: "What is it with Jesus, your son?"

Then Mary began to weep, laid her head against Elizabeth's breast, and said: "If you only knew how stubborn He has become the last few months.  When the girls come to me to learn embroidery and needlework, He leaves the parlour.  If there is laughter and joking, He looks at us all with wide eyes, shakes His head and goes away.  God alone knows where He is going!  There is not a word to learn from Him.

If the old father Joseph gives an instruction, or the other sons, then he usually indicates that he knew this long ago.  We wanted to give Him to a rabbi, but He said: 'I would rather be with wild animals in the mountains!'  In short, I am almost at the end of my strength."

Then Elizabeth said: "My daughter Mary, how is it that you despair?  Have you forgotten the graces and guides of the eternal Lord and God?  Precisely because your hopes in Jesus were not fulfilled, you are broken and insecure.  How does Joseph, your husband, bear it?

Never and ever will I forget when you, still almost a child, came to me and the child under my heart said: 'Open quickly, the mother of my Lord desires entrance!'

Behold, the years have made me old, but they have made my faith in God young.

I also worry about John, the temple wants him as a priest already because of his father, but John does not want it, I am everything to him.  At the same time, he possesses a self-will that can only be controlled by the most tender love.  So let me tell you one more thing: we mothers love too one-sidedly, therefore Jehovah must watch and commission his servants to be guardians over the Spirit that animates our sons.  I would gladly give him to the temple."

Mary: "Mother, it would be the greatest misfortune for Jesus if He were to come to the temple!  For His silence is downright frightening; but when He speaks, it is at a time when it is least needed, and what He speaks, bores deeply into the soul.  The lamentation of old Joseph sometimes presses my heart sore.  What is to become?"

"Wait and see, calmly wait and see, my daughter" - said Elizabeth.  "God lives and is still the Guardian in Israel.  He knows His own and remains faithful to His faithful.  My prayers are heard, and I know for certain, my son is chosen for service in God's kingdom!"

"Oh my mother, Jesus would ask you: to what service is he chosen?  And He would tell you: What you believe is good, but your faith alone does not make your son an agent for the Kingdom of God.  So it is always, nothing is ever right, and all my trouble seems to be in vain."

"Daughter, do not grumble!  Until now, every trial and suffering has found it's end and a wonderful solution."

Now Jacob and John came in again and Jacob said to Mary: "See how right my hunch was!  Jesus would rather be alone than continue to remain in your daily life; when the time comes for Him, He will come of His own accord."

"Where then is Jesus?" - asked Elizabeth.  Then John answered: "Out by the brook, watching the little fish sun themselves.  He said as soon as we came: ‘If you come to fetch Me, you have come in vain; I am more at ease with the dumb fish than in the parlour, where they sharpen their tongues and constrict the life of the heart.’

I said to him: What do you mean? I cannot understand you at all, when we were so happy about your rare visit, your behavior is not kind.

Jesus answered me: ‘John, don't worry about my behavior, because I take all responsibility for my actions and I want to be master over myself.  It would be much better for you, if you would become clear like me about your inner formation and your reason for living.  Go home and leave Me alone.’

So we left Jesus alone.  I ask you, mother, what do you say to this?"

"Child" - answered Elizabeth - "what shall I say but only that Jesus must have reasons; for He does not do it to give us grief.  May Jehovah enlighten us to understand Jesus!"

"Mother" - said John - "this sounds as if you support Jesus in His views?  You would like to see me in the temple and educate and train me according to a scheme that is just the opposite of what Jesus wants."

"Calm down" - replied Elizabeth gently - "you are not Jesus either!  I feel He is destined for great things and will one day reign as a Lord over great things.

Where angels proclaimed His coming, and Jehovah watches over Him especially, we must not hinder His development, but help to promote Him, that we may remain free from the reproach that we have hindered God's purposes."

At that moment Jesus came in at the door and said: "Now I can remain among you again, since the ground on which we move is now cleansed.  But to you, Elisabeth, I still say: With your words you strengthened My soul, and one day you will know what a great service you have rendered Me."

Elizabeth said: "Jesus!  I believe You, but tell me, how can you reconcile it with Your childlike gratitude, if you cause such unspeakable grief to your parents?  They love You beyond all measure and do not deserve such a thing."

Jesus answered: "A man who recognizes his task to be fulfilled and does not fulfill it, injures the one who called him to it; because in order to fulfill the task, he also received the means on the way!

Of course the means do not lie openly before all eyes, but are embedded in the depths of our soul! The spirit dwelling in us from the primordial Spirit, waits eagerly for the moment when it can reveal to it's bearer all the secrets of it's inner life!  So now man has learned in the silence of his heart to listen to the revelations of his own spirit out of God in all order, he also becomes aware of the means which his God and Creator has given him. If he now recognizes the grace and believes these truths that have become in him, he sees only the goal.

I am not there to bring suffering, but to put suffering on a level that sanctifies it!  A thousand times deeper lies the suffering in Me and I must carry it all alone, because still nobody was found who would share it with Me.  To have at least one helper who supports Me when I want to become weak would be bliss and happiness for Me; but I have also learned to do without this, since I know: it cannot and must not be, since My Spirit from God dwelling in Me, must first unite with the primordial Spirit, which fills the whole universe.  Therefore understand Me and do not stop Me."

"Great and eternal God" - exclaimed Elizabeth in shock - "Who then has put these ideas into Your head?  No prophet or pious servant of Jehovah has uttered them.  Do you not consider, dear Jesus, that you are losing yourself to infinity?  Are the graces and promises of the eternal God not enough for you?  Fulfill your duty and remain on the ground of true naturalness."

Jesus: "Precisely because I want and must do this, I must go My way, otherwise I would lose Myself.  The sooner I feel completely one with God the Eternal and the more willingly I subordinate My will completely to the holy will of God, I will have found Myself completely and then there is nothing more foreign in Me.  But if you want to know from where this knowledge came to Me, I can only say: I found this in Myself and no-one has been My adviser.  Yes even more I tell you: My life is nothing to Me, and I gladly want to sacrifice it for the idea, because the fulfillment of My tasks is the life of all people."

"Stop it, Jesus" - said Elizabeth - "I am afraid of your speeches and when one looks at you, one is afraid of your seriousness.  Has it ever happened before in the history of the people of Israel that a young man like you got so lost in his ideas?

I have grown old and grey, and the years have made my body weary, but until today I have always been content with what Jehovah handed me through His servants.  And what is most beautiful, I have felt comfortable in the school of the eternal God."

Said Jesus: "Elizabeth, far be it from Me to make you of any other will and faith; but it proves again and again how little you know God.  You sure stand in faithfulness and deep holy reverence with your God and dare no thought further than what the law prescribes for you, but now tell Me: Why do you hope and expect a Redeemer or Messiah?  It cannot be the chastening rod of the Romans alone, since this expectation lived in the hearts of all true Jews long before the Romans came to power.

What would you say if you were told that your son is called to be the forerunner for the coming Redeemer?  Would you also worry and grieve as he prepares for his new tasks?  Not for nothing do I ask you in the presence of your son John."

"Dear Jesus" - replied Elizabeth - "before your sharpness of thought, I must be silent; I am a woman and accustomed to silence, but if God needs John, he has my motherly blessing.  It will be the greatest happiness for me to know that my son is completely in the service of God.  But now no more of this.  I must take care of the meal, and you, daughter, help me, since Joseph will also come with the sons."

Now the three were alone.  John had no peace.  At last he said: "Brothers, what kind of life are you leading in Nazareth?  You, Jacob, are in worry, and you, Jesus, live in a zeal for which I am apathetic.  Do you have your acquisition in your craft, whereas I am to go to the school of the Templars.  Why are you not satisfied?  I myself have only one desire, to make my mother as content as possible."

Silently Jacob looked at his brother, then he spoke to Jesus: "Do you see again? Everywhere the same talk, everywhere the same desire."  Jesus answered very gently: "Jacob and John, is it so difficult to understand Me completely for just once?  Won't you try just once to put aside completely what is old and acquired and to stand on the ground on which I stand?"

Jacob: "My brother!  When you speak to me like this, I am completely yours and, if it is necessary, I will go to my death for you.  But when I see my father and mother suffering, I want to help them too, and then I am against you.  Truly, it is not easy for me: Here are father and mother - and there are You!"

Jesus: "Stay where your love drives you, my brother Jacob, but keep striving to understand Me fully."

But to John He spoke further: "But you, John, were allowed to look deeper today and have experienced an insight which will certainly be a blessing for you.  As you have already heard, it is about the unification of my own spirit with the original Spirit of God; because without this, I cannot solve my task given to me.  Now it is not a question of when and how I attain the unification, but, do you believe at all that this is possible?  Especially to you I ask this question, because we both belong together to create a work together, which will become an eternal lasting value and blessing for the earth and it's inhabitants!  Behold, you know Who I am, you know My mysterious birth from your mother sufficiently, and yet you bring up no desire to get to know Me completely?  Come with us to Nazareth and stay with us for a while, it is better for you to be near Me than in the temple with those pretending to be God's servants."

John smiled thoughtfully and said: "Jesus, Your desire is impossible for me to fulfill, since I cannot think about why and for what purpose.  What You tell me about Your tasks, will always remain strange to me; it is completely enough for me, if I follow in the footsteps of my blessed father and prefer to follow the instructions of the priests who teach me!

What you tell about the unification of your spirit with the Spirit of God, is much too high for me.  Then I stand on the point of fully satisfying my filial duty, the exercise of which now fulfills me completely!  Jesus, you can believe me, I would have to be ashamed to death, if I had to say to myself: I have neglected the only person who loves me beyond all measure - and that is my mother - and have followed my own desires!  I don't want to reproach you, but your mother is unhappy because of you!"

"Yes, you are right, I must tell you" - Jesus answered - "because you judge humanly and according to the concepts of this world.  But if you could live in My love, in My longing, in the whole field of My inner world, you would not have spoken this word to Me.  I don't want to reproach you, since you don't know otherwise, but, dear John, have you thought about what you actually want?

Do you want to go to school with the Templars?  Why not to Me?  See, the temple represents the word, but I represent the Spirit.  There is no proof of the eternally true life of God's will and can not be given to you, because the word of God has become a law.   But I experience daily the proofs of the eternally true life of God, because the One Who is life, stands above all law.

But as I experience this life and witness it in Me, and it spurs Me on more and more not to slacken, but to take hold of it more and more intensely, do I still need another school?

John, remember for all times: you will never seize life if you do not seek it with all eagerness!  But if you are seized by life out of God, then you will hardly ever lose it.  He who serves the law is rewarded by the law, and usually the end is unsatisfactory.  But he who serves the life out of Life, has life and everything becomes life!"

"Stop it, Jesus" - exclaim John in shock - "anyone can understand that.  With this your wanting and desiring, you will acquire few friends.  Even if I can not understand you and can not grasp the meaning of your words, one thing I know as of today: You are a dreamer, a fanatic, and these man must let go of!  Rejoice with us, because we can see and speak to each other, but stay with your goals in Nazareth, there they are already used to your dreams and fantasies.  I am always annoyed by the person who thinks he is living in heaven, and on earth he forgets his nearest duties.  You can talk to me as much as you want about high tasks and great goals, but you do not warm me up, because my goal and my task is the fulfilment of duty, the utmost fulfilment of duty; because the highest fulfilment of duty is also the highest fulfilment of the law."

Jesus looked at John for a long time, then at Jacob, and said: "Our exchange should not degenerate into cantankerousness, since opinions and views are not yet life.  Now reality may appear and each may see how far he has matured and equipped.  Life, tasks and the goal still lie ahead of us.  Achievement of all this, however, is only possible through the hardest struggle and indomitable will.  So everyone goes his own way, I will and must go Mine.  But before the goal, brother John, we will meet again!"

The women in the kitchen heard what the three young people were saying, but did not dare to join them in the room because the conversation was too serious and important for them.  Now, however, they thought the right time had come.  So Elizabeth came to them and said: "Well, have you finished your conversation?  And have you remained united?  For you, John, have acted as if you had spoken to hundreds."

"It would not have been that bad" - John replied - "but with Jesus you're not dealing with hundreds, but with thousands.  He carries within Himself a will and a power, of which I wish I had a part of!"

Said Elizabeth to Jesus: "You can rejoice when John praises you, for this is seldom heard from him, but his reproaches are all the more frequent."

"Let it be, Mother Elizabeth" - said Jesus - "everything takes it's time.  Just as your meal takes time to prepare before it is put on the table, so also every inner development takes time before it can emerge with success.

What you have ever achieved in your life on earth is a result of your attitude, your devotion to God, and you have been able to ask for everything!  But can you believe that there could also be people who feel, see and experience in themselves that they are called to give?

To give you this proof, I tell you: go into your kitchen and experience outwardly what I experienced inwardly!"

Without answering a word, Elizabeth and Mary went into the kitchen and stopped in amazement at the sideboard: Elizabeth had baked seven small loaves, but these had grown seven times larger without any intervention. "What has happened and how is this possible?" - she cried - "Have Elijah's times come again?"

Said Mary: "Mother Elizabeth, Jesus has accomplished this, as always, when we could no longer do anything with Him, something great had appeared, so that we had to direct our thoughts and speeches to the new experience.  But to find out why and for what purpose, that was not possible for us."

"We want to talk to Jesus" - Elizabeth now replied.  "Why take detours when it is possible to go straight?"

Standing in the open doorway, she said: "John, come and see what God has done for us.  I baked seven little cake loaves and now they are at least seven times bigger!  What do you say to that?"

John looked into the kitchen and said with a smile: "Mother, don't make a fuss, you baked them so big, they just turned out bigger than usual and now you're about to think of a miracle."

Elizabeth admonished John: "Have you forgotten what Jesus said to me?  'Go into the kitchen and experience outwardly what I experience in Me.'  Do you want to be indifferent to this happening?  Here God has made us experience a great sign like Elijah."

Turning to Jesus she said: "Jesus!  You can give us the right light about this miraculous sign, because You knew about it before I saw it; therefore Your call: Go into the kitchen!"

Jesus answered: "Mother Elizabeth!  How is it that God's omnipotence and goodness seem mysterious to you?  Because you seek understanding with Me, listen: Your love did My heart so much good; it was like a rest to your heart.  Then I called within Me to the Eternal Love of God, which I feel so alive, and asked it for strength to please you.  At that moment, My request was also fulfilled and I saw your blessed loaves.  I believed this My seeing and experiencing in Me, and so now you know all the rest."

Answered Elizabeth: "Jesus, I will not urge you to tell me more; for you have reasons which you will not utter.  But I tell you one thing: if I were as old as You, I would never lose sight of You and forget that I am a woman, for in You there is more than Moses and Elijah."

Then Joseph appeared with his other sons and asked for lodging.  Everything came to life, and it was not until the meal that Elizabeth told the men about the great miracle of bread.  Jesus was silent about everything.

It tasted so good to all, this simple meal, bread and milk; and after the meal, there was so much to talk about between Elizabeth and Joseph.

The sons of Joseph were glad to go to the bed which John had prepared, and so there was not much more talk.

Before Joseph went to his bed, he said to Elizabeth: "We can get along best with Jesus if we let Him be; but our own minds, our whole wills, oppose it mightily!  I can reproach Him a hundred times: 'that is not right of you', then He gives me ninety-nine times justifications,  to pull the ground from under my feet for the hundredth time.  So I stand there with my doubt in my chest."

"Joseph, we have grown old and will soon go to our fathers, so we no longer really understand youth.  But I still assure you: In Jesus, God seeks His people home, here is more than Moses and Elijah.  He is like Michael, who waits for his time to raise the glowing sword against the enemies of God.  Surrender to God's will!  I believe in the task of your Jesus."

"Let it be well" - said Joseph - "no-one knows the burden I bear.  That I have not yet collapsed, I thank, along with God, Mary, my wife.  But how she will bear it when I am no more - is a new worry.  May God help, and may His goodness and care avert what is a disaster for us. So they went to rest.

Resting on a meager bed, the night passed quickly, and at the first dawn of the growing day, Elizabeth prepared the early meal - soup of milk and bread.  She was the only one who did not sleep!  Jesus stood before her eyes with a deep look in His bright eyes.  There she blessed Jesus standing before her spiritual eyes.

Soon the sons appeared, including John.  A song of praise sounded from their lips, and so the new day was consecrated.  Old Joseph was moved by this harmony, and loudly he prayed: "Great God and everlasting Creator, singing we began this day which You have given us anew in Your eternal goodness.  Let us not forget that we owe You thanks and give us all Your blessing for our work.  Bless this house and all who come in and go out, that Your work may remain and bear witness to You.  Amen."

So Joseph blessed the food, and quietly the meal was ended.  Without saying much, all except Mary went to their place of work, where they thought to finish that day.

But John had no rest, he was always drawn to Mary, and she felt that John had something on his mind.  When Mary with Elizabeth had cleaned the kitchen and living room, John came and greeted kindly, almost humbly.  Mary warmly returned the greeting and said: "John, you are not free, what weighs down your soul and what darkens your mind?  If it is up to me, I will gladly help you."

John said: "How can you help me, since you need help yourself; for I am troubled and distressed by the same thing as you, namely Jesus.  You must know Him.  He is your Son, after all."

"John" - Mary answered - "the matter which distresses you, is different from mine; for we have daily interaction with Jesus, while you almost do not see Him and do not wish to see Him.  It is only that we cannot acquaint ourselves with the manner in which He pursues His object; for I assure you there cannot be a more obedient and willing son than mine.  You heard yesterday His tasks to be solved!  We are as if eliminated from it, while He seeks to win you.  He demands only understanding from us, but assistance from you!  I am not able to tell you anything else, because it is enough for you.

John came very close to Mary and said: "How do your words sound?  Now you also take Jesus in protection?  And why has He considered me of all people, that I should go with Him?  You know, I cannot go with dreamers and fanatic; my naturalness and my intellect resist it.  What I heard from him yesterday may be good and beautiful, but it went in one ear and out the other."

Mary: "John, why do you deceive yourself and want to shut Him off Whom your heart seeks?  If you call Jesus a dreamer and a fanatic, you are in great error; for His very naturalness, His thoroughness and above all His striving - yes, I would call it addiction - for order brings us into conflict with Him.  If I may advise you, try to become one with Jesus.  He knows what He wants, and also knows what He demands of others!"

"This is impossible for me to believe" - John replied - "if He seeks order, He may conform to order in your house and give an outward image of the best harmony.  I would rather sacrifice a limb of my body than cause grief to my mother!  And what my mother teaches me, is as good as if God taught me!  Since when has it been the custom for children to teach their parents?  These ideas are just leading to arrogance."

Mary replied gently: "Dear John, never say these words again in your life, for you are building a wall between you and Jesus.  Consult with yourself, accept what you think is right and true, and leave behind you what does not suit you.  For if you knew what thoughts Jesus is concerned with, you would deeply regret these words of yours.  Examine yourself rightly and believe my words!  For I, his mother, have wrestled many a night in prayer, pleading for clarity; but the heart has always wanted something different from what God has intended for us.

How often have I been allowed to communicate with angels, have regarded many a wonderful instruction as the greatest miracle; but in the distress of my heart, I had to learn to stand entirely on my own feet and to trust in the love of God!

I and old Joseph did not always succeed, there were many bitter struggles, but there were also many wonderful blessings.  We have never had to suffer hardship, and we have been able to make many a poor person happy and to feed many a hungry person."

John replied: "Jesus cannot find a better advocate than you and my mother!  It was missing only that my mother says: Go with Jesus and his to Nazareth, because the temple has become redundant now."

Elizabeth heard the last words spoken and said: "John, it would certainly not be a mistake if you could believe this; for in these few hours I have really learned to love Jesus."

John answered: "Mother, I would like to know whom you could not love; for in your eyes there is no bad man, and in the end you would love even the devil and father of all vices.  This speech of yours may be good for Jesus, but you have done me a disservice, for now I really do not know whether I or you are the deceived ones.  It is better that I go to my work and seek food for our animals!"

Elizabeth stroked John's head and said: "John, do what seems right to you, but remember, the heart must be guided.  It is significantly better to be misjudged than to walk in wrong ways."

John left both women and hurried out with fast steps; now he became angry with himself.  The fact that his straight mind did not give him the right security made him outright restless!  He had never gone without saying goodbye to his mother, but today everything went against his will.

He went to the stable, took the sickle and went with quick steps, as if he feared remorse, to the nearby grove, which belonged to the neighbor Sergius.

Sergius saw him coming from afar and beckoned him not to pass by.  Thus they met, and the greeting that Sergius extended to him was exceedingly warm-hearted.

Sergius soon noticed that something was wrong with John, so he said: "But John, I'm not used to you acting as if you didn't care about my company.  I wanted to ask you to come with me to my stable to look at the animal that was so badly mauled yesterday, but got off quite well with your help.  I have done what I could, I will be able to preserve it."

“It's all right with me" - John replied - "because I need a stimulus for something anyway; I'm all confused in my head.  I don't understand my mother as of today."

"But John, you" - replied Sergius - "you then love your mother like a second God?  What has been the matter?  There must be order at once!"

"Hád order" - replied John - "precisely around the order the whole matter revolves.  Relatives from Nazareth, who have been staying with us since yesterday, have completely thrown me off track."

"You, John, who have always been superior, have become uncertain?  This pleases me, you have at least once given me proof that you are on no other level than I am.  But let's hear.  What has happened?  You know I love you as my only son."

John said: "Sergius, I know you love me and would so gladly take my mother and me into your house.  But there is no need, since the Lord God always gave us [means] to live.

Yesterday, when Jesus of Nazareth and His mother came to stay with us, we had conflict.

Jesus represents a life that should be formed from within according to the God with whom He wants to become one!  But I know that God, through His servants, gives me what is necessary to live completely in the order of God!

Jesus claims to know His tasks and goals, and ruthlessly pursues the goal He hopes for, while I, according to His words, lose myself if I do not seek the connection with God in me.    You know what my mother always taught me: to become faithful, conscientious and dutiful, since the commandment of God absolutely demands this.  Jesus also knows this, but does not turn back to it and seeks to please God in His own way.  Now Mother suddenly defends this Jesus and admonishes me that I should keep to Jesus!  In other words, I may serve God just like Him after His manner!"

Said Sergius: "John, I cannot form a true picture from your words; but I think Jesus will already know what He wants!  It is all sorts of things for a son of most respectable parents to go his own way and seek connection with God.  Go to a rabbi and put your need to his heart, he will answer you that something good will come out of it for him or for the temple.  I, too, have always left you in the belief that it is the highest thing for man if he calls a place his own where he can connect with God.  If Jesus feels in himself the urge to feel and experience in his heart what the other feels and experiences in the temple, then you do not need to be confused, because there have been such eccentrics at all times."

"Sergius, you should get to know Jesus!  But he will correct your opinion, because listen: Jesus is not a special case, but an exceptional case, as I have never heard of anyone; because He has managed to confuse my mother so that she believes that Jesus made out of seven little cake loaves, seven times bigger!"

"You make me curious, my John" - replied Sergius - "can I not meet this person?  It would give me great pleasure if I could converse with him."

"That will be possible, since I heard nothing that they did not want to come back; they were eager to finish their work today" - John answered.

"If this be so, I will come to your mother before sunset" - Sergius assured him; "but now come to me at my house, you will still finish enough food."

It was done.  After this visit, John went about his business, and about noon brought home a large bundle of food.  In the meantime, Mary and Elizabeth had talked about many other things; so Mary asked: "How does your John actually spend his days?  Your land is small, so there is no question of much work, for all the land is around the homestead."

"Mary" - Elizabeth answered - "John leads a life like a priest, very strictly regulated, he seeks to make himself useful in the house and also with our neighbors, he likes to work from the earliest morning until late evening.  He loves me fanatically and reads everything from my eyes; only he should not have such a strong obstinacy.  His love of justice is boundless.  He would have gone to the temple long ago if I were no longer alive.  He is a son a mother could not wish for better.  'First comes work, then I am there for others' - are his words."

Mary was not quite satisfied with this information, so she said: "Mother Elizabeth, but I think that John is not satisfied with the meeting with Jesus.  Years ago, the two children could not understand each other either!  Since Jesus liked to stay alone and lonely, it is like a miracle to me that he talks so much with John at all.  Anyway, I'm curious to hear what John says when he comes back."

Elisabeth said: "You will not see any change in him yet, because John is not or very difficultly available for new teachings, new concepts.  He holds fast to the faith of our fathers, the commandments are sacred to him, he would rather perish himself before he disregards a commandment.  But if he has seized something, he holds it tightly, and no-one will be able to snatch it from him!"

Thus the morning passed with discussions, which referred only to the two young people.  But when John returned, he asked forgiveness for leaving without greeting, and told his mother that Sergius wanted to come today, as Joseph was stopping with his sons.

Elizabeth was pleased, and now they went to prepare a meal for the afternoon or evening when the men would come.  John brought meat from the neighbor Sergius, it was as if a feast was to be celebrated.

It was still early in the afternoon when Joseph arrived with his sons.  He expressed his joy that everything turned out so wonderfully.  It turned out to be a beautiful work and, according to him, also a good reward.  Once again he asked for a place to sleep for all of them, and tomorrow morning early, they would go home again.

For John everything took much too long, because in him the fighting zeal had grown again, which wanted to drive Jesus into a corner.  Joseph and his sons made themselves comfortable, but not Jesus.  He helped in the kitchen to prepare the meal.  John also helped, so he could already talk to Jesus.  But Jesus noticed John's restlessness, so He said: "John, have you not considered that blind zeal often does more harm than good?  Behold, we have laboured this day, but in a quietness that was delightful.  But at first sight, I saw in you that you were full of the greatest restlessness."

"Is it any wonder" - John replied - "you come and turn things upside down in me.  What have I been considering and thinking about today, and what is the result?  I have not advanced a stater.  I could not find any help from our friend and neighbor Sergius, so I had to stay alone with myself and my thoughts.  That's why I can hardly wait until the common meal is over, because I hope that with the help of your father, I will also be proven right."

Jesus said: "My brother John, what advantage would you have if you were right in your opinion?  What is better, to receive a right and still be the deceived one, or to admit a wrong and make great profit thereby?  You look at Me doubtfully and think: 'Where does he want to go?'  I tell you: before my perceptive life, your whole inner world is revealed to Me.  It will be difficult for you to give Me a push that gives you satisfaction, because I know a hundred times sooner about your intention and can therefore repel it calmly.  You do not drive me crazy in My battle, since it is also a source of strength for Me.  Everything that seems impossible to you is already a fact with Me!  Today you still need your mother, your priest, and you are not yet fully aware that only a human who stands with his own feet on the ground which his own God-life created for him, has the claim to be a free and self-confident man!  He who cannot yet do without the help of his fellow men must also put up with disappointments!  You must become independent!  Now let us both lay the table, for My beloved ones are mighty hungry."

In the meantime, Sergius also arrived and joyfully greeted the aged Joseph and his sons.

John said to him as he passed: "Don't forget Jesus!  He is busy with setting [the table] now."

But Sergius took his time, watching Jesus as He busily helped the women; but he had such a tremendous impression when Jesus brought the first filled dish into the great room, that he said: "Jesus!  You do not take bad care of your father and your brothers."

"And also for you!  This you must not forget, My brother!" - replied Jesus, smiling.  "It is so easy to bring, after all, where love coupled with so much diligence created so much".

So Jesus extended his hand to Sergius, saying: "Brother!  Blessed be your love, which makes this meal a real feast!"

Sergius could not answer anything but to press His hand, and then went out hurriedly.  He had a feeling of happiness, a jubilation was in him, everything was like sunshine in him!

He beckoned to John and asked him if there was wine in the house.  John had to answer in the negative.  Then he took John's hand and said: "Come, take a basket, let's get some tubes from me.

John wanted to fight off, but Sergius was in a hurry.  In less than half an hour, they were back.

At Jesus' request, they waited to begin eating.  As soon as Sergius entered the room, old Joseph rose from his seat and said: "Children, come to the table; everything is prepared.  Prepare now also your hearts, so that they also may be receptive to the good which the eternal, kind God gives together with earthly things.  But You, God of love and mercy, make us worthy and deserving to accept Your gifts.  Your name be praised always!  And blessed be the meal, that it may be a blessing to us! Amen."

Now the hearty meal of vegetables, meat and bread with figs, was eagerly eaten; everyone, including Elizabeth, had to confess that it was heavenly food.

Elizabeth said: "Jesus, I suspect you!  You are not entirely uninvolved in this glorious good taste?"

Jesus: "Where love creates something with diligence, this is always crowned with success!  One must only be able to believe that the work will succeed.  Thus I am completely uninvolved, since also the father Joseph confessed: Everything good comes from the eternal God!  Give glory to God in your heart and rejoice in your success!"

Sergius then brought the wine, which he filled into jars, and so this meal became a happy and joyful one.

Only John did not drink any wine, nor could he really rejoice; the word of Jesus was still working too powerfully in him.  But Sergius was happy!  He said to Elizabeth: "What makes you think that Jesus is involved in the success of your meal?  Because I am of the opinion, if I feel joy over joy in me, it is to me as if everything that I see, hear, feel and taste are more perfect.  It is important for me to know this, so that false thoughts do not darken my memory of this hour!"

Answered Elizabeth: "You, faithful Sergius, do not know what happened yesterday.  With the coming of Mary and Joseph and the sons, I am transformed.  I prepared seven small cake loaves and after their completion, they were seven times bigger and this calm Jesus says so convincingly: 'Look in the kitchen at the external miracle, which I experience inwardly!"

And then this bread is of a good taste, as you all must confirm today.  Must I not assume that it is the same with today's meal?  Don't try to fool with it and let me have my faith!  Just today it is to me as if life is so exceedingly precious, and I have presentiments of coming glories?  Never in my life have I experienced such wonderful things!"

"It may be, dear Elisabeth, that this meal will be a delight and a glory for you.  It is the same with me.  Nevertheless, the question arises again and again: What is actually the cause of this wonderful effect?  Is it the wine or the good food, or is it Jesus?" - said Sergius.  "Who is now able to give the right solution?"

All were silent, so now Joseph stood up and said: "Children, come, let us go to rest!  The wine has made me tired.  But you, brother Sergius, can talk with Jesus for a long time; for He knows no tiredness, if He does not want to be tired.  Nor do we miss anything in your discussion, since we are all together powerless against the attitude and view of our Jesus.

You, Elisabeth, are happy because you were able to experience something that we have long forgotten.  Keep this lovely memory, who knows if you will have the luck to see us - I mean Jesus - again!  The moons and years are hurrying by and soon our life's work will be fulfilled.  If I had only the one son, I would also have less struggle; but so it is a matter of being just in everything and making no exception.  Our day's work today was also richly, abundantly blessed.  If I wanted to say every time: Listen, my sons, we thank our Jesus for this blessing, soon speeches would be heard that would weigh down my heart.

So we give thanks to God and give Him the glory and keep the peace that had so often left our hearts and our house.

In the future, remain one in peace and seek to find what is lacking with one another in proper patience and brotherly love, then it will not be lacking and God will continue to be gracious to us.  So I will bless you in the name of the Lord.  May He be your protection and your being.  Amen."

Joseph, accompanied by Elizabeth and John, left the room with his own except Jesus and sought their beds.  Sergius and Jesus were alone.  Sergius: "Jesus, I always wanted to see you and hear you speak.  You have done it to me, how good it must be for those who are always around You!"

"You are mistaken, dear friend" - Jesus answered - "I am a stumbling-block to them, and often I have to hear harsh words, since I am not always at the beck and call of My own.

You have heard old Joseph; if you knew how his lamentation grieves Me!  But let us not speak of that; there are more delightful things to discuss."

"May I know the reason" - Sergius now asked - "for now I am eager to know it, though it is not exactly comforting."

"I will gladly grant this wish; but John will be dissatisfied, since he hopes for something else!  So let it be told you: I wanted this visit, since I see in John the one who is to be My support and helper!  Unfortunately, John does not want to know anything about Me, since it is not in his will; and yet he cannot avoid it, since he imposed this destiny on himself to serve Me and to promote My work."

Sergius: I don't quite understand you yet, what work are you talking about? Are you not a carpenter like your father and your brothers?  I am now aware that there is a secret - John, Elizabeth and your father are proof to me.  But what good is a secret about You if I cannot investigate it?"

John returned with his mother and Mary, and - uncommonly - joined the two.  Then Jesus began to speak: "Sergius and John!  There are no mysteries at all for the one who draws from his inner source!

Only that to which one or the other finds no explanation, can be mysterious!  What still seems so mysterious to the ones who are Mine and to My environment, is light and clear to Me.  The great question of life: Who am I, what should I - and what do I want, is solved in Me.  There is no wisdom that can change My mind, and there is no power that can stop My will.  You may think: 'this is megalomania!'  Such arrogance has not been heard of yet!  Listen carefully, My friends: Each one is the product of his own upbringing, which already had his pre-schools in the pre-life.  In this school of life, one then recognizes his certain tasks.

Thus, it is now necessary to examine to what extent My will has become a deed.  If a man goes through this earthly existence without thinking and examining - is it surprising if others, who honestly struggle and fight, are regarded as mysterious?  Believe Me, an infinite wealth and abundance of power lie embedded in every human soul, but how many know about it?  I wish I could lead you into the depths of your own soul and sharpen your senses!  Then you would realize the greatness of this truth, which is not yet truth for you.

Sergius said: "Jesus, how will You prove Your words to be true?  We have not yet heard what you want to announce to us!"

Jesus: "I cannot prove it to you, and I must not, since it does not yet belong to your own world!  Although it lies in you, it is not yours, because it lies in you as unconsciousness, and therefore you can not be held responsible for it!

The moment it will appear in your consciousness, it will also become your property and then you are obliged to watch over it and use it justly!  Happy are you, if you recognize it and use it rightly; it will lead you to the highest happiness in life.  But woe to those who have recognized it and yet have rejected it or have drawn it into the low and mean, it will bring about torment without end!"

Sergius said: "Jesus, you are still a young man and extraordinarily gifted, this I hear from your words.  But who gives you the guarantee that you are on the right path and that what you proclaim to us as truths, is also truth?

I have seen and experienced so much in my life, have thought about so many problems and have also pursued some things, but I can assure you, it was useless labor of love.  It always turned out that my imaginations and ideas were in the realm of the impossible.  I would be sorry for you, for yours, if you had to realize that you are going the wrong way.

Have you not yet considered that no-one really supports you and above all, no-one wants to support you, that it is a daring thing to try to accomplish things that are not possible for any man, but only for God?"

Jesus smiled and, turning to Sergius, said: "You did not understand John when he told you about Me, and your objections are also completely invalid, because not everything is applicable to Me and My person.  So listen and follow Me, not for My sake, but for yours!

Since My earliest youth am I aware of the extraordinary grace to be able to communicate with God, the very highest life, in Me!  This is not an assumption, but perfect knowledge!  Through My connection with God, I experience everything in Me and around Me much more refined, or also much more real.  My mother could testify to you about miraculous things which the highest God-life in Me accomplished, but this would have become a state for Me which would have constricted My freedom of will!  There exist an arrangement with brother Jacob that he may experience in himself everything incomprehensible about and from Me, so he believes in these Divine revelations of grace!  Unfortunately, this faith has been very much shaken by trials.  Thus I recognize I must sacrifice My will to the utmost, so that God's pure love-will may become completely Mine!

These are not things which lie in the area of the impossible, but are possible to everyone, also to you!  Or do you think that God is so narrow-minded, cold and unloving, that when you fulfill His desire and will with all your willpower, He then pushes you aside and leaves you at the wayside, as if you had done nothing at all?  I tell you: He will be inseparable from those who make His tasks and His qualities their own!

In this sense you will not try to accomplish things which are only possible for God, but you will put your whole inner world at the disposal of Him to whom everything is possible!  You think: 'in this way, God could also make me an instrument.  Would He have the power and possibility to do so?'  I tell you out of My knowledge: He could!

If He made Balaam's donkey speak, and this was an animal, how much easier it would be to use a man as a tool.  But would this serve anyone?  If the normal condition would be restored, the doubt of the others would increase enormously and you yourself would have to realize: you have been only a blind machine!  I want to tell you that I hold holy conversation with God and always first assure Myself: it is not My work and will, but God's work in His will!"

Sergius went to Jesus, embraced Him, pulled Him to himself and said: "My Jesus!  Tell me, what are you going to do?  Your words are as heavy as gold and as light as the blue of heaven.  Even though I do not understand you as you might wish, I assure you of one thing: I believe You!"

Said Jesus: "If you only believe My words, you will go astray!  Why will you not believe in Me?  Behold, a spoken word is like a shell in which many a meaning lies hidden!  But if you believe in Me, then you will also get to know Me and will not find anything mysterious about Me.  My life will be revealed to you and you will, like Me, recognize My task and My mission, which in short words is: redemption of all directed existence and life!"

"Jesus, Jesus, you mysterious being" - said Sergius - "who could understand you?  Who could grasp the meaning of your words?  You are to me like a ray of sunshine, that illuminates and enlightens, that spreads delight!  But how will it be, if you return home?  Shall I believe in you?  But how could I, since we will not soon meet again?"

"Sergius" - Jesus answered - "listen: It does not matter if you and I come together personally, but this is important to know: We are united by one Spirit and one will!  In this Spirit we pursue one goal, even if by different means!  But remember, when two pursue one goal, one supports the other with spiritual forces and thus strengthens the consciousness of victory.  But the basic condition must be that it is born from the love of the heart!  Now we have to think of parting - for you, Sergius, are being called and our mothers need rest."

A maid came, knocked at the door and requested admittance.  She told that the sick animal was restless and that bad things were to be feared.  Sergius was frightened and wanted to hurry home.  But Jesus said: "Not so, Sergius.  John and I will go with you.  The day shall not end with trouble for you.  My Father in heaven is pleased to grant My requests!"

Sergius and the others did not understand this word either.  They quickly took their leave, since the maid was urging them on, and both Jesus and John went with them.  In a hurried run and without a word, they reached the courtyard.  The stable was lit by a lamp, and the wife of Sergius was impatiently waiting for his coming.  For a long time they looked at the animal, and at last Sergius said: .John, your trouble and our joy have been in vain; it is dying."

Then Jesus went to the sick animal, lifted up it's head, which was resting on the ground, and said: "Sergius. you may rejoice, My Father has heard My request!  In the morning, your animal will be healthy.  Now give glory to God and do not forget the past hours!"

Sergius wanted nothing of parting, but Jesus urged home.

"I believe in You and will always believe in You!" - said Sergius - "come what may; these hours have made me a different man."

"I also thank you for your love, which gave so much joy to My own; one day it will become clear to you what you are to Me.  Blessed is he who can enjoy without being compelled, and blessed is he who gives according to the course of his heart.  Today, everything is still dark, but in the light, you will one day see and shudder when I can exclaim: 'It is finished!'"

They soon parted, because Sergius found no answer to the significant words.  But John shook his head and said as he walked: "Jesus, if the beast dies after all, how will you stand before your words?  Would it not have been better if you had kept silent?"

Jesus said: "John!  Why does such doubt still live in you and wants to destroy this sown seed?  Would it not be better for you to believe as Sergius did?  Remember: Sergius will live another life and through his faith, his animal will live too!  Did you not feel and realize that God spoke and worked, and I was only His instrument?  If you already doubt My one word, then at least believe My Love, since It is not a member of this earth and has no attraction to earthly things!

John, I make a serious request to you in this night hour: Do not get lost in the law, but find yourself in love, and let the reason for all your actions be love!  We are still young people and are at the beginning of our tasks.  No-one should force the other, everyone should find out from himself what is right!  Therefore, John, consider: Who cannot become free of doubts in himself, still stands with both feet on the ground, where he cannot feel comfortable and gives his best energy to the opponent!  Only pure faith elevates and makes the life in it's multiformity a sunny one!  The sunnier your nature and the freer your mind, the more you are able to accomplish the greatest, because everything inhibiting and lowly then has no more room in you."

"Dear Jesus!  Let me weigh Your words in peace!  What You gave me yesterday and today, is too much.  I am different and cannot make what is black in me white, or vice versa.  Give me time, I will find what is best for you and for me" - John answered - "but do not ask me to act against my convictions!"

Jesus: "John, so be it.  Examine seriously and without prejudice, then you will have nothing to regret!  Make a distinction between law and free life and do not consider the Scriptures as the highest, but as a guide to the highest!  If you gladly follow this advice of Mine, then you will live out of the fullness of all life, which is God from eternity to eternity.  But if you let yourself be driven by the spirit of your own ego, then your life will be an unsatisfied one and your end will be likewise."

John now answered nothing more and they soon reached the dwelling.  Both mothers were still awake and awaited the return of their sons.  With a brief greeting, they too now sought their resting places, for it had now become midnight.

The sun was in the sky when Joseph and his family took leave of the hospitable Elizabeth.  With heartfelt words, Elizabeth thanked Joseph and Mary for the hours she had spent with them, especially with Jesus.  "But you, Jesus, take with You the assurance in all Your further work: I believe in You!"

Then Jesus said: "Elizabeth, keep everything deep in the depth of your heart and nothing in your earthly life will dim this faith.  It will carry you to the goal of your longing and your greatest desire will come true.  The Father in heaven will bless your love abundantly!"

Joseph now blessed Elizabeth and John, and then his own, and followed his sons, who were already walking on foot.  John looked after them for a long time, he wanted to follow them a little longer, but a shyness held him back.  Then he said to his mother: "It is like a dream!  Only when one wakes up, one notices how little reality lies behind it.  There they go and take the reality with them, we are left only with the memory."

"Not at all, my son" - Elizabeth answered - "they brought us reality and it now remains our part!  With Jesus, everything, including you, has now taken on a different appearance, and I feel joy upon joy about it.  Look, Jesus is waving to us once again, it is not like a goodbye-wave, but like a beckoning, as if we should come to Him."

Both returned the farewell greeting, and now the departing ones turned a corner.  Then Elizabeth said: "I feel as if the sun has gone down, everything looks so empty now."

"Not to me" - said John - "not to me; to me it is as if I now have colossal space and room again; for before Jesus and His gaze everything has become too small and too narrow for me.  If He had remained here any longer, I do not know where I should have gone; for with Him, one cannot place oneself on an equal footing."

"Nor shall you, John" - said Elizabeth gently - "let it be enough for you to know: He puts Himself on your level and wants your best.  He is a great One and knows it, but this does not prevent Him from always presenting Himself as a little one and servant!  How gladly He served, how concerned He was for His own, quite the image of a faithful son!"

They did not notice that Sergius had joined them. He was too late to again speak with Joseph and especially to Jesus, but Elisabeth's words penetrated his heart and confirmed his suspicions!  So he greeted them both warmly.

Then Elizabeth said: "Now you have come too late to see them again; but don't be sad because of that, we have received the most glorious thing from them, namely the awareness that from Jesus, a Redeemer and Liberator arises for all of us; it should be to us as if He were staying among us and making us familiar with His work.

When I gave myself completely to the thought that night, that under my roof rests One who is called by God to the highest, it became light around me.  There I saw a sun which shone, but did not blind.  As I looked into the sun, it took on the face of Jesus!  From the eyes it beckoned so exceedingly sweetly, almost tenderly, and His mouth was half open, just as if He carried a desire to kiss me!  The face did not remain, but the light continued to shine and made bright in me many things that until now had been dark.  So the night passed, which was not a night; but when Jesus had gone and disappeared from my eyes, I felt as if it were evening.  So now we are left with memory and faith."

"Mother" - John replied - "you must have learned from Jesus and want to dream yourself into another, more beautiful life.  Look reality in the face and you must admit: everything has remained as it was 3 days ago!  Where would we get with our faith, if we would believe every fanatic?  Hasn't Jehovah provided for us abundantly?  Yes, it is almost too much to contain.  I have not the slightest desire to support Jesus!  Moses and the prophets are enough for me."

Elizabeth replied: "John, no-one, not even Jesus, will try to take your faith away from you; but if you continue to insist on your own knowledge and will and relegate other opinions and knowledge to the realm of idiocy, you must also put up with the same thing happening to you.  But I tell you, the cake-breads were more than proof for me!  Now there is no need for any more.  I will also never give you an incentive to occupy yourself with Jesus in your thoughts, because in my heart there is a place for Him that is sanctified."

Sergius now spoke: "I too, Mother Elizabeth, have taken Jesus into my heart; He is more than just an ordinary man.  This morning, my first thought was for my sick animal.  When I came to the stable, it was standing there demanding food.  What this means: yesterday dying and today healthy, can only be grasped by the one whom it has affected!  Therefore, dear John, please, in the future no more word against Jesus!  He has an enormous trust in His Father in heaven and He gladly fulfills His requests, because such a trust has not yet been experienced.  How happy the knowledge makes me: we are also included in the love of Jesus, which lives in His heart.  A dreamer and fanatic has never been able to accomplish deeds, but only words gush like streams of water over such lips and it is not possible to check whether the heart is with it.

You will have to put up with me talking to your mother about Jesus, and I dare to say already now that it will become a need for me!   Sleep also fled my eyes this night, Jesus with the plates of food and His shining eyes did it to me!  Never in my life did such feelings flow through me as last night and tonight!"

Answered John: "So you are against me?  Then I will have to do as Jesus did and will seek out solitude and see how I come to terms with it!"

"Do it calmly, my son" - replied Elizabeth - "one thing I assure you: the more you want to cut Jesus out of your existence, the more you have to occupy yourself with Him!  But I can't understand why you suddenly don't want to understand your mother anymore.  Is it so difficult to accept the love of a person who deals not only with small problems, but with even the very greatest?  When I think about the love, patience and perseverance that are necessary to acquire those powers that God put into Him like a seed, I come to the conclusion: Jesus knows what He wants!  And He believes in the success of His work.  We have had it easier because we could rely on the Scriptures and only need to lean on the teachings of our temple.

But Jesus brings something completely new!  Something that man carries in himself, but does not know.  It is new for us and yet ancient!  The promise begins to come true: A light shines into the darkness and will become a lamp to all!"

"Mother, why do you torment me?" - replied John bitterly - "I cannot force my heart to do something that doesn't make sense to me.  If you call it love, when a son gives grief to his parents or avoids the house where there is joy, I call it something else, namely obstinacy.  Mother, let us be silent, so that peace may remain and you may experience only joy in me."

Sergius was silent about everything, but now he turned to John and said: "John, it will not do to keep silent about what wants to rise up in the heart, for what the heart is full of, the mouth overflows.  I make you a proposal: Your mother moves to my home and you go to the temple for a few months.  You can return home at any time, and I will relieve you of the care of your mother.  Your entire household will remain and be taken care of as if it were my own.  You will get to know something that is still foreign to you - and in this school, you will surely mature into the work to which you are called.  Here you suffer and lose, but there you learn and win.  When you come back, the joy is twice as great!  But I finally get to give love back, where until now I just always received love!  What do you think, Elisabeth?"

Dear Sergius, my worries are also your worries!  In order to know John free and happy, I gladly consent to the separation, but I would like to remain in my little house, since I am grown together with it.  If John wants, so be it; if he does not want, it is also right!  My hope is Jesus."

John brusquely said: "Mother, I go!  Better a short separation than walking side by side.  May Jehovah forgive me if I do wrong, and may he give me strength for what is to come!"

It turned out as planned.  The priest Joseph was overjoyed to bring his fosterling into the temple himself, and a new world opened up for John, but a world that was an offence to him.  Accustomed at an early age to independent thought and action, he now experienced the opposite.  Here there was only one who thought and gave instructions - the high priest - or, in his absence, the deputy.   Here he got to know people who kept their insides closed and wore a mask on the outside.  Often, when he was alone, he would say to himself: "Father!  Here you have endured all your life?  Did you know more than anyone else and yet you stayed?  Your life must have been a sacrifice!"

Sometimes, when he was struggling alone with himself, it seemed to come to his mind how differently Jesus struggled and he then asked himself, how would Jesus behave now?   Because he himself had a straight mind, it annoyed him that he had to be silent here.  For the watchword was: Silence and obey!  He was drawn to an old, honorable priest who had known his father.  To him he revealed his great heartache when it became almost unbearable.  In the dwelling of old Samuel, all the pain he had restrained, came through John's lips.

Samuel, goodness itself, listened to the younger man's confession from beginning to end and said: "My young brother, what I am about to tell you, keep to yourself!  There is nothing to my life, but yours is precious.  A whole life I served the temple, already in the lifetime of your father.  At that time, the temple was still different than today; the poison of the world, imperiousness and greed have increased tremendously since then.  Yes, even murder is not shied away from!  You will think, why do you stay there in the temple?

I tell you: in order to stop the disaster and to counteract the wickedness, I remain in the temple.

The temple has a thousand weapons, I have only one, and it is called kindness of heart.  Before this kindness, they tremble back!  How long, I do not know.  If you do not cooperate, you must prove why.  So my advice is gladly heard, and I am now also satisfied to have given my life to Him who gave it to me.  The best thing for you is to go home to your mother, serve God and man; for through His goodness, you have become what you are.  So thank Him by not abusing His goodness!"

"Father Samuel!  You give me back my balance, but how should I behave at home towards my mother and Sergius when the talk comes to Jesus of Nazareth?  This one is the impetus and the reason for the separation!"

"My young brother!  Why so stormy?  You will be shipwrecked many times in your life, if you hold on to your rigid will!" - replied Samuel calmly.  "Never in your life will you succeed if you think: 'I can and will do better'.  Gladly and willingly give room in your heart, if another has a different opinion and knowledge!  Examine everything seriously and acquire only what suits you!

I am very surprised that Jesus of Nazareth is an offence to you; because when he caused great commotion in the temple for three days, I took advantage of the best, and it is still my part today: love for people and kindness to people!  It was Jesus, of all people, who tore the mask off the faces of the leading priests and exposed outrages that you would not be able to bear.

Often and much I have thought of the boy, and it is wonderful how the boy remains in my memory.  What was the use that the excitement remained for a while and Jesus was watched together with the house of Joseph?  In the case of Jesus, however, the development had then moved more backward instead of forward.  So it is explicable that since about 10 years ago, the temple became more and more luxuriant.  I am immensely pleased to hear something pleasant about this young man, but I am afraid that as soon as the college hears about this progress, Jesus' peace will be gone.

Now, dear young brother, listen to my advice, which comes from a fatherly heart: get on good terms with Jesus, make your pious mother and your fatherly Sergius happy, you will gain a thousandfold!  What else has the temple to give you?  Nothing - but nothing at all; if you become inconvenient, you will be sent abroad to the pagans and the unconverted.  You are still free and you can easily break your affiliation with the temple.  I will gladly help you and secure a good exit."

Said John: "Father Samuel, your words make my heart glad.  But answer me one big question, and I will gladly follow your advice.

What do you think about Jesus of Nazareth?  Are his ideas a fancy or what should I accept them to be?"

Samuel answered: "Come, my boy, to my breast.  In answering this vital question, I will not look you in the eye, but think, my gentle boy Jesus is standing before me.  Now listen: when I was a silent witness of His wisdom and His power, and He pointed out the conditions that must be fulfilled in the Messiah to come and yet are already fulfilled in Him, I always nurtured the hope in me: This is the One!!!  My hope did not diminish when the reports became more and more negative.  I thought: this was a blossoming time.  He must mature!

Your news about Jesus is precious to me, because I believe in Him.  His ideas are not out of Himself, but Jehovah Himself put them into Him and the Spirit of God resting in Him, drove these ideas to full maturity in Him.  What you told me about the struggle of the wrestling Jesus, confirms my view.  It would be time to support Him.  If you remain in your opinion of will, you prevent God from giving the gift of grace to the earth, namely the Mediator between God and man and the Savior of His people from all bondage.  It is not good to say more.  It could well be that I am mistaken.  But if you consider the abundance of truths that filled His 'I', you will come to the conclusion: Only heaven could have sent Him!

John, could you understand my happiness if Jesus were now resting in my right arm and you in my left arm!  I imagine it to be like that and I am happy inside!  Why is this happy feeling actually there?  It is the gift from the heavens, whereby man can again reflect on the happiness that awaits him who has fulfilled the conditions.  As you say, Jesus wrestles with Himself in constant zeal, so He is anxious to fulfill the conditions completely, in order to feel and sense in Himself only heaven!  You are envious of this brother and unjust, instead of showing Him understanding, you are hard?   Oh John, do not judge the temple and it's servants, otherwise you yourself will fall over the rope you hold ready for others.  There must be nothing in this world that I should consider lost, but I must seek means to heal and save!  Can you understand me?"

"Yes, my father" - John answered - "I understand you very well, although they are almost the same words that Jesus uttered, only they do not hurt when spoken by you.  I have many things to repent to Jesus, since I have wronged Him much in my heart."

"This makes me happy, my John!  It will be much easier and more comfortable for you if you reconcile yourself to the thought that Jesus of Nazareth is a called and chosen one.

But one paves the ways for a called one instead of blocking them!  So you will also experience, when you have recognized your calling, that it hurts terribly when one is hindered in the exercise of one's duties; but it is even more painful when one is misunderstood or betrayed by one's own friends or confidants.

Go your way, but with God!  Let your nature become goodness, then it will become light and clear in you!  So take my blessing, let it be strength and light to you!  Amen."

They both parted, and John, with the help of the fatherly Samuel, detached himself from the temple.

Back home

Elizabeth did not know her son anymore, no contradiction, only devotion she experienced.

Sergius was also affected by John's peculiarity.  The few months had made him a man.  Elizabeth was sickly, so John was anxious and worried.  It was clear to him that if his mother left him, he would lose his footing; for his inner struggles sometimes threw him off balance, but his mother always quickly set him right again.

Sergius also saw John struggling, but he could not help, he lacked experience and the right life of God.  So life continued it's course with its changeability.

The priest Asur still could not bear that John did not show him the expected respect and reverence, scourged John with sharp words and demanded apology.  John again became incensed and showed the priest the door, since he was a servant of Baal and not of Jehovah.

Sergius had come to this dispute and was able to intervene in a conciliatory manner.  From that day on, John remained closed.  He calmly took care of everything as usual, but a strange restlessness lived in him.  He avoided his mother and Sergius, became hard against himself and hard to change.  He often talked to himself for a long time and, tormented inside, sought consolation in prayer.

Elizabeth and Sergius worried a lot and discussed what needed to be done.  The idea of looking for a helper grew stronger and stronger, until finally Sergius agreed to take a distant young relative into his home.  It happened, and as if by itself, the young people were to get to know each other.  But John now avoided the house of his fatherly benefactor even more.

One Sabbath, Sergius and his niece were getting something for Elizabeth.  John was present.  For the latter, it was a sin to do anything on the Sabbath.  And he could not keep silent.  The young girl looked at John for a long time, then she said: "John may be right, but to my knowledge God will not punish, since no offence, but good is intended.  God, the eternal good, can want only good!  If God would want to punish the good, then He would put Himself on the ground on which John is standing now, and this I cannot believe."

Elizabeth stroked the girl's hair and said: "Child, your words are right and flowed from a devoted heart, but John is also right, since he seeks justification only in the fulfillment of the law.  He walks a difficult path, while yours is sunny and easy.  Keep this faith of yours and come again!"

Eliesa: "How gladly I come to you, but John must not make such dark eyes, otherwise one is afraid of him."

John went out and did not return until the two had gone.  Mother Elizabeth was sad; she thought of Mary, who was also suffering for the sake of her son.  But John would not see; it made him even harder.

One day Eliesa came again.  John saw her coming, so he went to help a neighbor, and when the sun was setting, he came back.  Elizabeth said to him: "John, Eliesa was here, I have real joy in her, I think she loves you and would like to become my daughter; what do you think about it or have you already thought about it?"

John looked gloomily at the ground and said: "Yes, mother, I have often thought about it; if only she would not come back, her sunny nature hurts me!  I cannot see how she still has excusing words about the wickedness of others.  I am simply repelled by the way she is equally good to everyone, regardless of the person.  Only for me she has no word of apology or even understanding.  Why don't you accept her as your daughter? I feel that I can't stand this state of affairs much longer, and I will have to leave you again.  I will never think of marriage, I am not made to be a husband.

I have other goals ahead of me, I want to master sin and stand unblemished before the law and the prophets.  It is better for me to remain unmarried.

Said Elizabeth: "My son, you know how to pass wormwood and gall.  Instead of speaking openly with your mother, you go your way and cause my heart sorrow and grief.  Don't you know that divided sorrows are halved sorrows?  It is right for you to have a firm goal in mind, it is good that you want to accomplish something that no-one has ever done, but, my John, everything depends on God's blessing, and a mother gives her heart's blood for her child!  Therefore, be open, be humble, and your way will be easier and your mind more joyful.  Behold, Jesus sought understanding for the fulfillment of His ideas, what did you do?  We bring understanding to you and you avoid us.  You are the exact opposite of Him.  How would it be if you were to go on a pilgrimage to Nazareth and stayed there for a few days?  Don't you both have a goal?  Couldn't you complement Him?  Think about it for a moment, and don't forget your mother who lives for you!"

"Mother, I am in your debt" - John replied - "I know it would be better to be open, but there is a mountain of contradictions in me, I don't want to and can not do as I like, I am still too incapable, I lack the right power to overcome.

Where you are able to love, there is still aversion in me.  Every injustice unleashes a storm in me; I know it's wrong, but I can't fight it when it arises in me.  Have patience, perhaps I will still succeed.  I will not go to Nazareth, because I cannot go with Jesus, who wants to place himself above every law and want to become a universal helper."

Smiling, Elizabeth now replied: "John, you have come to a dead end and will not get out so easily!  This proves how you take and look at the mission of Jesus.  Your judgement of Jesus is in no way true.  As I have understood Him, He will fulfill the law to the last, so that no-one can say: Here you have become guilty.  That is the good and beautiful thing about Him - that He is open and makes His striving and His struggle for the goal clear to His relatives.  He never did anything else, therefore He does not need to reproach Himself.  Do as He does, and it will be all right!"

As a result, John became freer.  Thus peace and joy reigned in the house of Elizabeth.

One day, a messenger came and brought a parcel from father Samuel.  It was his bequest to John, whom he had loved like a son.  He had gone home to his fathers.  John studied the pages; it was the confession for the expected Messiah.  What he found, became a signpost for him.  He now searched and researched for information of Samuel in the Scriptures and found so much that he went to the priest Joseph and had himself instructed about the given Scripture passages.  But he could not become quite satisfied.  There was and remained a gap in him; neither the priest nor his mother could give him the right help.

In these days he was called to Jesus on mountain heights still unknown to him. [Book 2, ch 6 - translator]

His mother was seriously worried, since he had never been away without her knowledge.  But when he arrived back home, he could only say:  "I was with Jesus!  Let me sleep first, everything is so veiled and mysterious to me, I must first become clear!"

Without even taking a bite, he went to rest and slept and slept without waking, a full night and a day.  His mother was looking at him just as he awoke.  He asked for food and drink.  Everything was turned around in him, because now he realized where he was and what he was experiencing in his dream during his long sleep.  When he had satiated himself, he could tell everything and described to his mother exactly all details, what he experienced with Jesus, and this even in the dream.

"Think about it, mother" - he resumed his description - "I was on a high mountain.  As far as the eye can see, one can enjoy a magnificent, wonderful view.  A town quite foreign to me, lies beautifully spread out in the valley, and the houses with their flashing windows reflect the sun a thousand times over.  As I now look at all the beautiful and yet strange scenes, I am touched on the left shoulder.  I look around and see my father.

I know it is my father, although I did not know him.  An irrepressible joy is in me.

Then he says to me: ‘John, look at this land, given by God, in which everything can rejoice, but only he can dwell in it, who has made the will of God his own.  There, further back, are still several places, which are also to serve to make faithful children's hearts happy.  But remember: nothing is earned, but everything is merciful happiness, since God let His heart only be guided by love.  He once said to Abraham: ‘Go from the land of your fathers and your friendship to a land which I will show you and give to you and yours’.  But to you I say: Go into the land of your fathers and proclaim the coming Kingdom of God, where the smallest will be elevated to the greatest and the great will become small!  The light has long since become the victor over the darkness, and we bathe ourselves in the streams of light that reach over into the realm of the invisible, and wait for the day when God Himself gives the testimony to all the world and to all the invisible: 'This is My Son, in whom I am well pleased!'  But do remember, before you is life, behind you, death!’

I was about to say something back, when I felt His blessing hand, and I was alone.  Now the beauty was also taken, and I felt lonely.  So I searched with my eyes for the path that led downwards, but I could not see one.  I began to search, but in vain.  So I asked myself:

'Yes, how did I get up here?'  But no answer came.

What was now all beauty - what was my father to me now?  Nothing more!  For I was a prisoner of the mountain, and where I looked down only at the edge, there were abyss-deep ravines, but no way to the descent.  As I stopped my vain search and looked again, I saw my brother Jesus as if in a far, far distance and heard the words: ‘John, if you had stayed here, we would never again have parted!'  So I awoke and am glad that it was only a dream after all."

Said Elizabeth: 'God's ways are marvellous, and His ways supreme.  John, remember what I, your mother, always hoped and longed for: to know you in the service of the eternal God and Lord.  Let all that is behind, be forgotten, for before us, God stands waiting - and waiting!"

"What is God waiting for now?  Has all my zeal, all my wanting and striving been nothing yet?  What am I still to do?"

"Build a way to the heights!" - answered Elizabeth - "so that the heights may become a refreshment, a joy, and a happiness to all, to all people who do not spare the trouble to reach the heights!"

"Mother, now you are becoming incomprehensible to me again; I cannot interpret your words!"

"I believe you, John, since you always have only the present before your eyes and never want to concern yourself with the future.  What is not tangible for you with your hands, does not exist for you and you relegate to the realm of fantasy.  But in your world it will become dim, if what you call fantasy becomes reality.  I can tell you nothing more."

So the mother left her son alone.  Now in the days to come, John became more lively, the Scriptures and Samuel's inheritance were used more frequently, and Sergius heard many a thing which he did not understand.

Then an event occurred that deeply shook John.  Elizabeth became ailing and cold.

With all the love that came from his heart, John was concerned for his mother day and night.  A holy radiance was in her eyes and when John wanted to say something, she said: "Silence, child.  God speaks a sweet language".

Sergius also did what he could, but she could not hold on to life.  One morning, shortly after sunrise, she had herself brought to the window and looked as long as she could into the rays of light from the sun and said:

"I feel as if the rays were showing me the way to the Source of the light, and Jesus is standing in the sun, beckoning.  The sun disappears, but Jesus becomes more luminous!  - Jesus, I am coming!  Jesus, I am coming!"

With these words, she entered the realm of her desire and her love.  John was deeply upset.  Although he had reckoned with it, it came nevertheless too suddenly.  Silently, he paused in prayer - and finally he said: "Mother!  If only I had reached the goal like you, I would not have to mourn for you, for you have achieved what a thousand times thousands do not achieve!"

Now it became lonely for John.  His mother was gone.  He did not want to stay alone.  So he moved to Sergius.  The priests wanted him to go to the temple, but he fought tooth and nail.  At Sergius, he recovered and became happier.

His study of the scriptures helped him over the pain.  He worked diligently during the day and at night he practiced prayer and blessing according to the Jewish rite.  He wanted to make up for what he had missed with force and now fasted twice as much.  In him was a striving for the Divine and spiritual.  Through his constant wrestling with himself and his looking into his inner world, the inner vision was opened now and then and he experienced now, depending on his soul's mood, gloomy or beautiful things.

What was called out and shown to him, he interpreted according to his discretion.  Thus he again came into inner struggle with himself.  He did not dare to talk about it with Sergius or with a priest, in order not to involve his inner being in bigger fights.  Only prayer remained for him.

Months passed, but no progress was made.  Dissatisfied with the success, he went to the heights where he had a serious discussion with Jesus.  Thinking nothing, wanting nothing, he did not spare the effort until he reached the top.  Once there, he rested from the hardships of the way and sought rest and certainty.

The more the longing for rest took hold, the more restless he became.  Now he remembered that Jesus had been waiting for him up here for three days.  Three days - a long time.  'But I want to wait for a sign, so that I am filled with certainty, because now I stand at the crossroads.'

So a day and a night passed.  While struggling in prayer for strength and perseverance, it became calmer around and in him.  With his will he conquered the hunger, which became strongly noticeable, and he thought of Jesus, who could also enjoy nothing on this height.

Then his mother appeared to him in a robe of light and spoke with a gentle and sweet voice:

"John!  There is still no way to the heights, but the longing of the Honorable One has risen to gigantic proportions!  Why do you hesitate and let yourself be admonished?  Open the gate and the doors wide, that the Lord of glory may come in!  Open up, for through you it shall be revealed that He, the Glorious One, will be the Lamb who takes upon Himself the sins of the world, that all curse may be blotted out!"

A blessing, a wave ~ and slowly the vision disappeared, but the words remained.  Like glowing letters they shone in his soul: "Through you it shall be revealed that He, the Glorious One, will be the Lamb!"

"Do I need another testimony" - he said to himself - "No, it is enough!  ‘Lord, show me the way; my life is now Yours!’  With these words, John started on his way back.

If it was laborious at first, and then became easier, and after hours, he reached a homestead.  He humbly asked for refreshment, which was granted to him.  This love did him immense good, and the owner's words were so well meant that he could not help himself.  He had to pour out his heart and reveal to this stranger all his longing, striving and wanting.  But this man, an old, believing Jew, who was versed in Word and Scripture, now gave John, in his own way, clarification about the expected Messiah.

"If He comes, then only the present time can be the right one!  For: external oppression  from the Romans, the Gentiles, and internal oppression from the Templars.  This Jesus of Nazareth described by you, could have the potential to bring redemption and liberation outwardly and inwardly, but there will be a lack of means to support Him.  The rich man holds to the Romans, so he doesn't need a deliverer, and the poor man has no means."

John looked at the old Jew seriously and said: "I know Jesus too little to agree with you!  But I rather believe that Jesus understands His mission differently!  He will deal less with worldly things; according to Isaiah His task can only be to lead the people of Israel from night and sin to light and life!  And He does not need any other means than only those which God put in His inner being.  These were His own words."

The old Elim answered: "Young friend!  Be it as it may, in any case, you must no longer make a secret of your knowledge and gifts!  It is time to make the world aware of the times in which we live!  For Jehovah, the Eternal, does nothing without an important reason.  Perhaps He is placing all His hope in the young Nazarene.  We could not be forgiven, if He were the One called and if we took so little part in Him and the plight of our fellow men.

Look for like-minded people, come to me on my ground, there will always be so much that no-one will go hungry.  And then go out into the land and proclaim the great time that God will make us recognize and that will bring the Savior!"

"Dear old EIim, may I anticipate the priests?  And may I proclaim my knowledge and understanding to others?  I am not from the tribe of Levi, even though my father was high priest" - John said.

"For this very reason, young friend" - replied the old man - "you are directly obliged to carry your acquired knowledge and your experiences into all the world, since the temple and it's servants are only heralds of the Word, but not guardians and keepers of the spirit.  You know the temple, you know Jesus, you know both their will and endeavor and - you still ask?

Oh, that I did not know Jesus!  I wanted to remove every stone that hinders His foot.  It is my greatest longing to be able to experience the time that brings the Messiah, the Redeemer and Deliverer!"

John replied, "But what if Jesus is not the One for whom your hope is?  Is it not a wasted effort and a useless waste of time if Jesus does not bring salvation after all?"

Said Elim: "What do you care if Jesus disappoints?  Strive not to disappoint, and administer the ministry Jehovah has given you.  Believe me, an old man - I am rich in experience, and disappointments have made my heart firm.  There is only one task to accomplish, and that is to make God's discerned will entirely your own, so that the inner spirit can cling to God's Spirit.  Where faith in success is lacking, the goal recedes further and further - and what is lost, is seldom brought back.  You complain about lost time and useless effort?  But how would you stand if you had wasted precious time uselessly?  Could you stand before the eyes of the Lord and the gaze of the Messiah?  Arise and gird yourself with the sword of the Lord, be the armor-bearer of the eagerly awaited Messiah, and God will be with you!"

These words, spoken full of fire, made John listen, so he said: "Elim, say, who speaks from you?  Your words sounded completely different now!"

"My son!  Believe me, I am talking about longing and suffering.  He who has seen and felt suffering and has made the misery of others his own, knows only one longing: Help!  Help!  Help!  But help comes only from the Lord and from the One who is sent to help from above!  If you promote the Helper, you help to eliminate need and suffering; but if you hinder the expected One, you stand on the side of those who brought need and suffering upon the land and the people.  Therefore, wake up and recognize the time when the Lord will visit His people and express His love anew!  Let the Word of the Lord be your weapon and trust in the holy work, your strength!  God be with you and with the coming Messiah!  Amen."

The other house members were deeply moved by the words of their house-father, it was a holy act for them and a consecration for John.

Deeply moved, he reached out his hand to the old Elim and said, "Father Elim, for years I have been eagerly seeking the word that would redeem me.  How happy my mother would be if she could look inside me and see that now the hour has come when I can finally take action to liberate myself!  Oh God, You Guardian of Israel, let me complete this work You have assigned to me according to your commandment!  But you, Father Elim, bless me from the spirit of your faith, your power and love!"

John knelt before the old man, but he raised his hands to heaven and said: "Lord and God and Creator of heaven and earth!  Full of longing in our hearts, we call upon You in this important and solemn hour to make a confession of our love for You.  But in order to love You properly, we need Your Spirit, Your strength and Your blessing!  We ask You to enter into our midst, even if invisible to our eyes, but let us feel and sense You in our hearts, so that not we, but You may be the giver of all power and all blessing!  So now, John, receive the testimony from me: God has consecrated you as a forerunner and pioneer for Him, Who is infinitely higher than we are - and, united with God - wants to begin His work.  Truly recognize that He is the Lord and we are His servants.  He is the Light and we are His rays.  Go up in His work, so that the blessing may benefit all!  So be it done according to Your Word,  oh Lord and God, Your only holy will!  Amen."

John rose and spoke softly: "Oh what a blessing! What power!  Now I need not fear or be afraid of doing wrong.  God is my protection and my guarantor.  But now let me depart, or I shall not reach my goal."

Up to the door Elim accompanied John, opened it, and said: "So you open the gate unto the Lord, as I now open it for you, and show you the way to your poor brothers that have gone astray, that He may come to all those whom you have to inform of the coming.  God with you, God with you!"

Full of joy and an eagerness in his heart unknown to him, John now hastened with quick step to the place where Sergius dwelt.  He was there at the setting of the sun.

Sergius, my good Sergius, rejoice with me!  I have overcome and now know my way!"  With these words he literally fell on Sergius.  "What have I not experienced since yesterday!  Now there is clarity - God needs me and has looked at and accepted my will.  The time is here, and no more hour is to be lost."

"That is right" - Sergius replied - "but how is it that you are so convinced?  Let me share fully in your joy, that I too may bless you - bless you for your work for the Lord."

Now John reported in detail.  Sergius was deeply moved by the words and there was great joy in his heart.  So he said with emotion: "Oh John, how God must have suffered that we passed by the truth for so long!  And how great must be His joy!  Always remember this; for what God begins, shall be for the salvation of all people.  Today you are alone, tomorrow there may be ten, and in a month a hundred, who stir their hands and feet for Jesus, the coming Messiah."

"Oh my God and Lord, how I thank Your for this hour which gives me assurance that Jesus, Your chosen One, no longer stands alone!  Now I will gladly depart from this earth, for my eyes have seen Him whom You have prepared for the salvation of all souls.  So give Your servant John the right energy, the right will and Your rich Divine blessing!  Amen."

Now Sergius took care of his protégé like a mother and prepared his bed himself, which he blessed beforehand.  In the early morning, John departed full of joy and visited the burial place of his mother.  "As I bid farewell to your body, my mother, so I bid farewell to the past!  Before me life, behind me death.  Life I have received!  Life I want to give!  This be my thanks and now my will!"

Soon he rushed to towns, soon to schools, everywhere proclaiming the great event: the Kingdom of Heaven has come near!  He showed the Templars and priests their wrongdoings and advised them to repent and change their ways, and everywhere he awakened interest in the coming salvation of their souls.  Thus he became more and more confident in his presentation and in his defence, since everywhere the priests would have gladly dismissed him.

The crowd of listeners grew.  So he saw himself compelled.  He was forced to recruit disciples who, like him, proclaimed the coming of heaven.  Despite all his zeal, he was not satisfied with the success.  Although the listeners beat their breasts in contrition and recognized the great truth, he lacked true satisfaction.

Thus he looked for lonely places and led with his disciples, a strictly mortifying life, in order to accelerate the success. The simplest of dress and in food and drink was good enough for him, nothing could delight him, the world was a great evil to him, which, in his opinion, could be eliminated only by the sharpest means!  Thus he swung the scourge and became a feared opponent of the temple, but also a friend of the downtrodden.

Finally, he had the success he had longed for: he heard the voice of God within him, giving him instruction and teaching.  His life was now completely shaped according to the instructions of his inner voice and he consequently became an even fiercer opponent of the temple and advocate of the coming salvation.  The voice told him to go into the wilderness, to baptize at the Jordan and to be even stricter with himself in everything, so that the priests and Levites would have no reason to triumph over him.

This voice made him a true herald for the coming Savior, for he spoke with conviction of Him who was before Abraham and made him a preacher in the wilderness.

But everything else is written by the evangelists and is newly revealed by the Lord Himself through Jakob Lorber!

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Table of Contents

1.  John the Baptist 4

2.  Back home 28